To all those who made mistakes. To all those who have regrets. To all those who can not go back and change time. Making mistakes can never be blamed on anyone else. It is up to you to take the blame, it is up to you to know what you did was wrong.
I am a person who learns from my mistakes and realizes my wrongdoings immediately. I wanted to have fun and experience as much as I can. It turned my whole world upside down. It wasn't fun, it wasn't the best moment of my life but it left me with guilt; it left me with regret, it left me with a hole in my heart that I know can never be repaired.
Yes. I am emotional. Yes. I have lost the trust of many. Yes. People will judge me.
I have nothing left to do but to move on. "What's done is done." No one knows that feeling. No one can help me but myself. You can slap me, throw insults at me, shout at me and step on me. It will do nothing. I need guidance, I need to know that it will all be okay.
The lessons I've learned from life so far, is not to rush things, listen to what adults say, learn to control yourself and don't go with the crowd. Everyone has their own limits. Everything no matter what it is is a stepping stone, no matter how painful it is. No matter how much I am hurting inside all I have to do know is to pick up my lifeless body and fill it with even more lessons and better memories.
I wanted to live a dangerous life, I wanted to have more thrill in my life. But you know what's funny? Is that I can't handle the consequences, I can't control myself. I lose control and I can't say no. I wanted to be someone who would say yes to everything, but look where that lead me.
Now I'm here, dieing inside and fighting hard just to be sane again. My emotions have taken over and I don't know what to do anymore. Dieing right now would feel so good. I will probably regret writing that.
I was given freedom and I took advantage of it. I was warned but I didn't listen. I let myself go and now I can't find my way back.
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