Day 16: If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

My first thought when I read this was to go back to England but then after thinking about it New York came to mind. Everyone who knows we me knows that it is my dream to go to New York! However if the world were to end and I went to New York I would be alone and on the last remaining hours on earth I wouldn't want to spend it alone, especially as I have already missed out on a lot on the lives of my family such as celebrations, mile stones and my sister taking a big step in her life to university. I would want to spend it with them on the last remaining hours of my life. I want to make up for what I have missed even though this would never be possible.

#blog#challenge

Day 15: A photo of someone you fancied at the moment

JAMES REID!!!!!!!!!

Day 14: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes

1. Enrique Gil

2. Channing Tatum

3.James Reid

4. Shia LaBeouf

5.Seth Rogen

#blog#challenge 

Day 12: Screenshot your desktop

#blog#challenge

Day 13: Three confessions of your choice

1. I can't tell the difference between infatuation and love
2. I want to go back and erase the past
3. I am homesick

#blog#challenge

Day 11: What is your favourite quote?

Well ever since high school it has always been "no regrets" I like to live by this rule, until I actually started to things I never used to do. After finally going out with my friends and drinking just for a few times I realized it is kind of hard to live by this. You do things that you made the decision to do but then after you've done it you realize what you did was wrong and you can't handle the consequences. I am not emotionally ready to handle particular things and although I do want to live my life off-the-edge, I realized maybe it is not the right time, maybe I need to figure myself out first before I do things I cannot handle. I need to take a break and figure things out and learn things first before jumping into things.

#blog#challenge

Day 10: If you could live off of one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?

So I decided to skip Day 9 and move straight to the next question. Well this is very easy for me to answer, I would live off of pizza, ever since High School I was a hug fan of pizza. For a while it did go away but its back and I crave for it all the mine. Sometimes I will walk all the way to campus just to buy pizza even if I am unwashed, I know its too much detail but I wanted emphasize how much I love pizza. Then my favourite beverage would have to be water, I don't usually drink other drinks especially if ever I eat out I eat I just order water. I have never been a fan of coke or juices 

#blog #challenge 

Day 7: Three Things You Want To Say To Different People

I miss you.
I wish I could be you.
I'm giving up.

I could say this to them but at the same time I can't, usually when we can't do something it's because we are too scared of the consequences or we can't accept their answer. Sometimes things are better just left unsaid, for example is it worth your time and energy. Will it benefit the relationship you have with that person? If no then don't do it, maybe you can try showing them but sometimes saying it out loud will just cause damage and will not do any good.

#blog #challenge

Online Journalism On Its Way

Now that I am in my 3rd year at UST I am taking up a class IT in the Newsroom, this is by far one of my favourite subjects and I have learned quite a lot from it and I enjoy it very much! One of the things we get to do is set up a blog in our chosen groups. We update it as often as we can applying what we have learned in our lectures.

Please visit  The Limelight Today  to see some of the articles we have published so far.

Day 7: Do you read? What are your favourite books?

I love reading! I love being taken into a whole new world and when I get so attached to a book I just can't let go of it. This has happened quite a few times before, many are ones that I can relate to or become inspired by. These books that I can remember of are, The 5 People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom; The Last Song and The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks and Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coello. These were the books that took over my lives as I turned every page.

I was very disappointed with The Last Song and The Lucky One, I feel in love with the books but when I watched the movies I was devastated. I was once told that movies and books should not be compared because they are two different mediums and are not the same. For me it is hard to avoid this as when a movie is turned into a book you expect the book to come alive and you want to see it right before your eyes, but this rarely happens.  

#blog #challenge

Day 6: What band or musician is most important to you?

Mmm... This is a hard question to answer because I wouldn't say any band or musician is important to me. I change my taste in music depending on my mood, I listen to a variety of artists and even though I might like a band or musician right now maybe next week I will like another. I get tired of songs after a while though I do have a few exceptions which I occasionally reminisce over but its very rarely that this happens.

#blog #challenge

Day 5: Five Places You Want To Visit

1. New York
My dream ultimate destination, I want to either work or study here. Anyone who knows me knows it is my dream to go to New York.

2. Italy
Italy has always seemed like a great place to go to! I want to go to Rome and Florence. I want to go here for the food! I will just eat, eat and eat if ever I do get to go to Italy.

3. France
Well obviously, PARIS! Two words: Gossip Girl.

4. Spain
The beaches! I want to visit the beaches and also I studied Spanish throughout the whole of high school and i am currently taking it up so I think I need to go to Spain to at least make use of what I've learned.

5. Canada
My closest friend is from Canada plus I have a friend already living there and I've heard how the people are nice and how safe it is. So I definitely want to see  Canada for myself one day.

#blog #challenge

Day 4: The Name Behind Your Tumblr Name

http://drinkpartyandliveyourdream.tumblr.com/

"No Regrets" is the title behind my tumblr. I originally got this title from N-Dubz I used to be a huge fan of them especially Dappy. I named it after the song No Regrets by Dappy, I think just before he became a olo artist. I try my best to live a life of no regrets. Everything I do even if it is a mistake I always see as a lesson and never a regret. However I am doubting things as I get older and as I get to experience the world little by little. I thought of this name when I was back in high school when everything was different. It does apply to my life right now but not as strongly as before as there are things in life that I just want go back completely erase, there are things I do regret. I learned from these mistakes and I had no choice but to move on and suck it all in. I can't go back any more, I can just change and make sure things like that won't happen again.

#blog #challenge

Day 3: Your day, in great detail

Today was my usual lazy day. I put my alarm for 6am to study for literature because we supposedly had a quiz. As soon as my alarm went off I turned it off and went through my phone replied to people on what's app and decided to go back to sleep.  I put my alarm for 8am but 30mins after lieing in bed I decided not to use an alarm seeing as my class was at 3pm I would have loads of time to study. 

I finally woke up at around 9am and started reading the summary for the stories. I was so proud of myself I actually got a lot done.  After this I decided to have a shower, I have a habit of meeting up with friends without showering and apparently I smell.  After having a shower I decided to do some advanced reading. This was after break though I had cornflakes, I hate it, it has such a boring taste. 

Then after reading I had two more pages to go but I decided to sleep.  I set my alarm so that I would sleep for 1hr. I woke up 30mins later and panicked when I saw the time was 2:30pm. I was just about to get out of bed when I checked my phone again and was a bit disappointed that it was 12:30pm, I only slept for a short while. 

Then I got a text straight away saying how our classroom had changed and the professor wouldn't come in but we had an activity to do. Then another friend texted asking to eat and I was full of joy!  This meant I would be able to eat good food because I wouldn't be alone. 

I met her downstairs at my dorm and we had Korean food. I ordered the budget meal chicken and rice and she decided to give me one of her chickens. We spent more than an hour eating and catching up. 

Then we decided to go back my dorm where I was running around changing, putting powder quickly over my face,  sorting out my hair and stuff for school. 

When we got to our building everyone was reading for the activity.  We had to read a story then write a reflection on it. So we waited for our room to be vacant.

When it was we all just hung around continued reading and we started our reflection.  However out of nowhere the darkest cloud formed in the sky and bought heavy rain.  It rained for 30mins with lightning and thunder. UST flooded straight away! I did not want to walk through the floods. We were on the 10nth floor where the windows show a great big view of the university. We could see everything! 

After finishing my activity and waiting for my friends to finish we decided to make our way  through the floods. Luckily for me my route had no floods. When I got back to my dorm I decided to have an early dinner well kind of, we ordered food at 5pm and started eating around 6pm because the food took forever to come! 

I had tapsilog, tapa and egg. It tasted great, though the portion was small.  After dinner I watched two episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air and then finished my paper for my Politics class.  I watched an episode of Game of Thrones, had my shower and while putting on a face mask I read the New York Times from Monday. 

After this I decided to talk to friends from back in England on what's app. Now I am lieing in bed debating on whether or not I should sleep now or later. In one day it had its highs and lows but I can't wait to sleep! 

So there's my day, pretty eventful but boring.  My usual days are very lazy and unproductive and just chilling here and there. 

August 19, 2014

#blog #challenge

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Day 2: 10 Likes & Dislikes

Dislikes

1. Liars
2. Being controlled
3. Unorganized people
4. Being told what to do
5. People who have too much confident in themselves
6. People who are clingy 
7. People with no manners and respect
8. People who want to always be at the top
9. People who don't know how to adapt 
10. People who are selfish

Likes

1. Honest people
2. Independent people
3. Learning from people and learning new things
4. Spending quality time with friends and family
5. People who make an effort to be in your life
6. Making new friends
7. Talkative people with substance
8. Movies and tv shows
9. Cupcakes and macaroons
10. Travelling

#blog #challenge 

Day 1: Write some basic facts about yourself

Well this is already shown on my blog profile below my picture but I guess I will add a little more facts about myself. My favourite colour is blue and my favourite dish which I can not get enough of is Bicol Express, I am still however a fan of pizza, kebabs and chips. I am quite at first but I have my not so innocent side which not everyone has seen or even heard of. I am a huge fan of movies and I love to read, though I don't read as much as I used to. I am extremely close to my friends, I am probably closer to them than I am with my family. My taste in music varies on my mood and I don't usually listen to the lyrics unless I am really down and my mind just drifts into reflection mode.

#blog #challenge

30 Day Challenge

 

So I've decided to do another blog challenge... just because I feel like it.

#blog #challenge

No Such Thing

Listening to the song Shirtsleeves by Ed Sheeran made me think, it drifted my mind away from the paper I am currently working on. You can not go back, you can not start over as much as we want something to go back to the way things were, that just doesn't happen. If anyone was to go back to the way things were either things will be better or worse, maybe there's an in between but my point is it will never be the same again. There is no such thing as starting over again because you can't go back, you can't change things. The best thing you can do is to make things even better before or just let go and move on. This will require even more effort and hard work, there's always a reason for things right?

I hate not knowing the reasons for things, I am a very curious person and I want the answer straight away. Sometimes I can be brave asking these questions, at times I might not be ready for the answer and it may hurt but I am glad to know the truth. I don't want to be sitting here thinking about possible answers as I could be thinking of the worse possible answer in my head.

Midnight Thoughts

I wish someone would reply back to me

I want a message, a sign, an answer, anything really

To make this feeling go away

To make everything okay

I could write everything I think

Everything I feel

But then I have to sleep soon

Also my wrists will hurt

I will damage my wrists by typing too much about my feelings than for academic reasons

Oh damn this life

I love my life, don’t get me wrong

But there are so many things I want to do but I am not able to do

I’m still not strong enough

I am still weak

I am not there yet

Does this mean I haven’t worked hard enough?

Does this mean I am lazy?

What do I have to do?

Do I do it on my own?

Do I seek for help?

This is life is crazy

But I can cope with it

I can manage

My mind is a whirlwind

There are particular things in life that I still can't let go of and that are still fresh in my mind. Recently people have lost trust in me at the same time I've lost trust in others and myself.  I'm stuck in the middle of things and I honestly don't know which path to take right now. I want to let go of things that bother me and that make me ask a million questions but at the same time I don't want to give up. I want to keep on trying to make things better, to fix them and even if things won't be the same I want to make things even better than before.

This is not how I imagined it. I prayed so hard but this is what I got, I got something even more painful. I am now stuck in between and I don’t know where my life is any more. I tried to reflect but I am left with friends and family and trust that’s withered away. I not only lost the trust of people I lost trust in myself and I stand in between. I wished and I prayed so hard but everything just went downfall, I rushed things again. I don’t want to force things to happen any more.  

I don’t want to think about it, I thought it was all gone but it’s still there stuck at the back of my mind and at the bottom of my heart. I don’t want to dig through those feelings. I want to give up already, all I want are signs and symbols just to make things a little easier. This guilt, this pain, is too much for me to handle, no I am not okay and yes this is hard.

A Song I Can Relate To

                                                    "Long Distance by Megan and Liz"

I heard you were just passing through
I never meant to get attached to you
The day we met - I still hold onto
It was out of the blue
You played a show
And we locked eyes, by the stereo
I fell into your eyes so blue

No matter how it goes, goes, goes
I just want you to know, know, know
I'm reminiscing, thinking about us kissing
Now could you take, take, take the million miles away, way, way?
It's you I'm missing
In this long distance

We keep in touch, though out of reach
I almost wish we didn't meet
It's not enough to keep a romance sweet
I was out of my mind to let you in
I should have thought of you as just a friend
But now you're got me right until the end

No matter how it goes, goes, goes
I just want you to know, know, know
I'm reminiscing, thinking about us kissing
Now could you take, take, take the million miles away, way, way?
It's you I'm missing
In this long...

But it makes a good story anyway
All the memories created in one day
I guess they found a place to stay
So we're keeping up with this phone tag
Missing messages and signs that we're not okay
Just pretend you feel the same

That no matter how it goes, goes, goes
I just want you to know, know, know
I'm reminiscing, thinking about us kissing
Now could you take, take, take the million miles away, way, way?
It's you I'm missing
In this long distance

Finally I have a song I can fully relate to, not that I'm proud of it. This song definitely speaks for me. This is how I felt and still feel up until now. I tried having a boyfriend for the very first time at the age of nineteen. It was a really great experience I learned a lot and got to experience my first kiss after years of waiting and wondering when I would do it. However it did not last long enough which hurts the most. Things just got messy and I lost control and did things to mess everything up. It was my first time and it did not go how I expected it to be. I spent 1 month with him having those late night phone calls, lunch dates, strolling around the parks and looking at the most amazing views I've ever seen. 

We met in the summer after being away for nearly three years he showed me a different side of London.  I got to explore London with him and I even got to learn a lot from him. After that perfect 1 month that I got to spend with him everything went downfall. We tried the long distance, my first time to have something as close to a relationship and it HAD to be long distance. We didn't know each other well enough, I didn't know anything about being in a relationship or rather I did but I was not experienced enough. Yes it was hard! Waking up early while for him staying up late, skyping and messaging through what's app. That was our way of communicating, but it was hard! It meant no sleep and sacrificing our sleep for each other, though it never felt like a sacrifice. 

However after a while it was not the same any more. I lost his trust and we were having doubts and everything was just a mess. So we are now left with just being friends, keeping in contact. What happens next? I don't know. This stuff is not easy, this stuff actually hurts.


#song #long distance #love #my life

When I turned 19...

This is not how I expected my life to be, last year everything was so different. Last year I was still looking for a boyfriend. I was still 18 and innocent and I was so excited and waiting for thrill or I don't remember to be honest, all I know is that I was different.

When I turned 19 everything changed, I decided to do everything to make up for my high school days. It is my last year being a teen and I wanted to make the most of it. Well I definitely did that! I did everything everyone did at 16 or throughout high school in one year, I rushed everything. I went all out and didn't say no to anything.

Now look where it lead me. I've lied, snuck out, made mistakes and became reckless but this is not me. I wanted to become a better version of myself not lose control and become someone completely different. I don't want to be that girl, I early became someone I knew I would hate. I don't want to be young and reckless and living the yolo life. I want to be in control of myself, I wanted to mature and become independent.

I tried to be a version of myself, I am so embarrassed I could be that kind of person. Where I just lost control, didn't say no and went ahead full frontal.

I decided to take a hault on my life and stop. I gave up on drinking because I chose not to be reckless and out of control. I tried it, I got drunk and I did something so stupid. Until now I still have a piercing pain in my heart, full of guilt and regrets,, I didn't want to live a life of regrets. I used to say that I have no regrets but that night I wish I could go back and erase. So far even if people say that I can learn from it, I have but it hurts knowing that's I did what I did.

I'm sorry I can't mention what I did or give a description. I just want to show people that whatever you do when you're drunk is not something you should be proud of really, it's not something you should show off unless you really want to, but my lesson is to not rush things at all, to learn from your mistakes and have self-control.

Finding My Way Back

To all those who made mistakes. To all those who have regrets. To all those who can not go back and change time. Making mistakes can never be blamed on anyone else. It is up to you to take the blame, it is up to you to know what you did was wrong.

I am a person who learns from my mistakes and realizes my wrongdoings immediately. I wanted to have fun and experience as much as I can. It turned my whole world upside down. It wasn't fun, it wasn't the best moment of my life but it left me with guilt; it left me with regret, it left me with a hole in my heart that I know can never be repaired.

Yes. I am emotional. Yes. I have lost the trust of many. Yes. People will judge me.

I have nothing left to do but to move on. "What's done is done." No one knows that feeling. No one can help me but myself. You can slap me, throw insults at me, shout at me and step on me. It will do nothing. I need guidance, I need to know that it will all be okay.

The lessons I've learned from life so far, is not to rush things, listen to what adults say, learn to control yourself and don't go with the crowd. Everyone has their own limits. Everything no matter what it is is a stepping stone, no matter how painful it is. No matter how much I am hurting inside all I have to do know is to pick up my lifeless body and fill it with even more lessons and better memories.

I wanted to live a dangerous life, I wanted to have more thrill in my life. But you know what's funny? Is that I can't handle the consequences, I can't control myself. I lose control and I can't say no. I wanted to be someone who would say yes to everything, but look where that lead me.

Now I'm here, dieing inside and fighting hard just to be sane again. My emotions have taken over and I don't know what to do anymore. Dieing right now would feel so good. I will probably regret writing that.

I was given freedom and I took advantage of it. I was warned but I didn't listen. I let myself go and now I can't find my way back.