Never Been Kissed

Yup that's me. I am actually proud of myself that I haven't had my first kiss, though I always imagine when and who I will have it with. Not everyone reaches this far.  Many regret their first kiss others enjoyed it, I'm thankful I'm in neither category.

The other day I watched the movie Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore and I realized how much I could relate to it. I thought to myself why isn't this my favourite movie? Just like her where she was not part of the popular crowd I wasn't either; I was invisible instead. Where everyone knew Josie's name, no one knew mine. Even if they were in my class they would forget that I was there too. No one knew me or if they did they tagged me as "The Shy One" or "The Quiet One." I didn't enjoy High School, I did have friends sadly I felt like I didn't fit in perfectly. However I did have their support and they were always there for me! I remember there were times where I would walk around campus on my own because I didn't have anyone to go to. I did feel like a loner a lot. I remember one time I cried so much I locked myself in the bathroom because I felt like I had nothing and I was so alone. High School wasn't my favourite years of my life. It was painful for me.

There is nothing I would change because I am so happy with my life right now. If I changed anything in the past I would lose something in the present and I don't want that. High School made me stronger, it made me realize and learn many things. If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have tried to find myself in the Philippines. I wouldn't have toughened up and gained confidence, I feel like I needed to be shy to become who I am today. I know I have a long way to go, that's the thing, I have a long way to go why should I go back and change anything.

I feel Josie, because we all want to have that kind of popularity and we want to be noticed. Everything we go through in high school can shape, teach and make us who we are for the future. It gives us the standards to what we should be in college. We choose to be someone different than that person we were back in High School. We find ourselves as we go through our lives. I am doing this day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year. Working on myself and becoming who I want to be.

First Time

The first month of the year was literally a crazy roller coaster ride. I've already had my ups and downs this month, where I've cried so hard but laughed  louder at the same time. I experienced having my first ever sleepover with friends. 

About a week ago I went all the way to Laguna to attend a debut. I was proud to also be a part of the program for the second time. The first time I was one of the 18 candles this time around I was one of the Treasures. I bought the debutant a UAAP magazine as I knew she was a fan of sports and then a notebook seeing as she is part of the Tom Web organization in our University I knew she would be able to use this. After great food and the program being successful and fun. Actually this was the first time I saw an 18 man dance. I had no idea what this was at first but then I saw how she danced with 18 elderly men in her life. To continue with the celebration we were given one bottle of tequila which we shared between another group. However, they gave up on drinking and we took it up to our room. There were seven of us in the room and we just spent the night chit-chatting and laughing our minds off. I've never laughed that much before to the point where even after everyone stopped laughing I still had the urge to laugh. The jokes just wouldn't leave me. Some of us slept early some of us slept for two hours, I was one of them. We were all in one room but we fitted perfectly. Even without all the alcohol we still managed to have fun. 

My second sleepover was fairly short and this time around we did sleep. We watched a bit of Breakfast at Tiffany's and we just hanged around our house. It was just so comfortable and normal that it didn't really feel like I was sleeping over. I think it's because we see each other all the time. Every day we see each other and so I think I've gotten used to my friends company, which is great to have. 

Well so far that's all that's happened that has really stood out. Hopefully I will have many more 'first time moments' this year.