I Salute 2013!

Well, this year has been pretty good. I've enjoyed it and I've learned a lot. I feel like I have matured a lot more than before. I finally feel comfortable with myself. I didn't have many downs this year, I did have one but I rose from it and I really kept on fighting for myself.

I learned to let go of the things unnecessary and to enjoy and have fun with my life. I can see clearly than ever before that I have friends and family that are always there for me. I got over the whole being single issue. I am so proud of how far I have come and I am so happy with my life. Yes it is not perfect but I have learned to appreciate and count all the blessings I have.

I am thankful for everything that has come into my life; friends, family, grades. My highlight was passing all my subjects and turning 19. I went to bed on my 19th birthday realizing I should be happy with my life and I am.

I don't know what else to say about this year, but I enjoyed this year. I am even more comfortable with my life and I feel freer and more mature than previously. I am excited for 2014 hopefully I will be able to go back to England and I will be able to find the final answer to why I really did come to the Philippines. I want to clear things out with myself and for my future. I aim to know what I want next year for my future ahead of me. I am ready to take on anything next year and I am excited for new experiences and hopefully new people that I will meet along the way.

Here are a few pictures from this year!

50 Shades of Grey

After a year of owning the book 50 Shades of Grey I finally finished it. When reading this book it came to my mind, why in the world would they turn this into a movie? How will they do it? I slightly fell in love with Christian Grey, he really knows how to pleasure a girl. I don't have much experience or rather any at all to do with sex or love. But its such a passionate book and imagining every scene can tickle a girls senses, not saying that I would want to be Ana.

But my thoughts to making the movie is, yes I can imagine Jamie Doran as Christian Grey but I'm not to sure about the actress they picked for Ana. Jamie Doran looks similar ro what I would picture Christian with his hair and eyes and body and he looks pretty good in suit and probablt without one. Also I'm excited yet nervous to see how they will make this into a movie, though it probably won't have the same effect as the book has as our minds go crazy when reading all the details. I doubt they will show it here in the Philippines they didn't show Springbreakers let alone 50 Shades. I'm still thinking about whether or not I would watch it, I would love to but with who?

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Intramuros

About a week ago me and my friends made a trip to Intramuros. We went there to volunteer for Red Cross. We had a project in one of our classes, Social Teachings of The Church. We had to do something or anything to raise money for the Yolanda victims. We spent three hours sorting out clothes and then packing them. We did two sets of clothes each for a mum, dad, daughter, son etc. Some worked in pairs others on their own. It was extremely hot and it drained the energy out of all of us. But it was a great experience to be able to help out even though it was tiring, I knew that I helped out all I could. But obviously still not enough. I didn't want to complain because I knew that there are more people suffering and going through worse than what I was experiencing.

Before this however we had 1 hour to spare and I wanted to see Intramuros. I've been there before but I just don't remember so I decided to look around.

The architecture really interested me and caught my attention. It looked as if you were in Spain, the influence was still there. The dorms were creepy at the same time I wanted to go inside. I could imagine how haunted all the dorms must be.

I also got to see where the old UST was, I wish it was still there. I also wanted to go inside Manila Cathedral but it was under construction. It looked so nice from the outside. This town must be haunted because of the history that runs through it. This made it more exciting. The town was amazing, I really enjoyed it.

I want to go back so that I can visit the Fort Santiago. It was even more fun with friends. I would definitely go back here. It's a place that has so much history and keeps it within its walls.

Letran 

Manila Cathedral 

Where UST was located 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

My first blog challenge

Done with my first ever blog challenge! It was so hard but slightly worth it. There were so many questions that really help me figure out stuff about myself that I never knew about. It was hard having to do it everyday because I really put a lot of thought into answering every question from the challenge. I hope my readers enjoy reading my blog challenge.

Days 27-30: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

27)   Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.

The number one thing that I love about myself would have to be my body shape! I love my curves and how whenever I wear a fitted dress it hugs my hips. I feel so sexy and so I always love showing off my shape, with fitted dresses or skater skirts. That's what makes me fall in love with myself every time. 

28)   Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.

I guess moving to the Philippines. I moved here at the age of 16 and I've been here for 2 years. It has been the biggest, bravest and best move I have ever made so far. 

29)   Who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc.

I don't think I can answer this because there is no one special that I've never met.

30)   Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say

Dear future guy,

I am so glad I get to meet you. I hope and wish that you will be the first and last man in my life. I have been dreaming about the day I get to experience my first kiss and hug someone more special to me than a friend. I want to wake up next to someone and be glad that I made the right choice. I know that everything comes in its right time and hopefully everything will just fall into place. I don't want to rush anything because I want it to be perfect. I will wait forever until we cross paths so that I know its worth it. I will enjoy my life as it is, being single and running wild and free with the freedom running through me. So hopefully you'll be around the corner and we can eventually see each other but for now I'll keep on walking. 

love from 

Dreamerllie

p.s. I'll wait forever 

#TheSW30 

Days 23-26: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

23)   Talk about a moment when you got annoyed with a married friend, a person in a relationship, or a person with kids (Be honest! No judgment!)

Whenever my friends say to me not to have a boyfriend, or when they say that I should be thankful that I a single. I get annoyed because it's not fair. I think or rather I feel like it is a part of life to experience getting hurt or to just go through all those problems in a relationship because for me its a way of learning. 

24)   If you could relive ONE day of your life, what would it be? And would you change anything?

The day I left England because that day meant a lot. I was at the airport with my friends and we were waiting for me to officially enter the airport. At that moment we just did our best to be with each other to make the most of it. I think everyday should be like that those moments are the most special. We were able to treasure that moment because we knew it would be a while before we would see each other again. Even if I was to relive this I still would have left. I try not to regret things. I try to accept everything that happens in my life. I am happy now with my life, even though I know I still have a long way to, I feel like I'm taking the right path.

25)   Describe a moment when you “paid it forward.” What happened and how did it feel?

My interpretation of this is if I've lost my virginity? I don't know what "paid it forward" means. But anyways, I am still a virgin and have never even been kissed. 

26)   Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why

Probably Never Alone by Lady Antebellum. I haven't listened to this song in ages because it brings back loads of memories. It has the most amazing lyrics, I used to play this song on repeat and cry at the same time. It is the perfect song for me because of the words mean so much to me. 

#TheSW30 

Day 22: The Single Woman's 30-Day Blogging Challenge

22) What fictional character in a movie, tv show or book do you identify with and why?

It would have to Mia Thermopalis from Princess Diaries. I was exactly like that in high school. I was clumsy and I hated talking in front of big crowds. I didn't even stand out before just like her. But then I came to college and I changed I then became more confident and I'm pretty sure I look way better now than before. Where my hair is more stylish, my eyebrows look good and I'm well dressed than before.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Days 18-21: The Single Woman's 30-Day Blogging Challenge

18) If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
This is nothing compared to the future. You have frienda and family don't worry about the rest. You will meet better people and you may never see these people again so enjoy the company you have now. Smile and have fun high school is easy and should be fun. You have so far to go don't let others ruin it for you.

Day 19) What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?
That there are times when I can't take it anymore. I don't like hurting others and I could hate you but I am just putting up with things so that I don't hurt your feelings and for peace.

20) Describe your most difficult breakup and what did you learn from it.
Well sadly I've never really been through a relstionship. Back in high school it was more of having a boyfriend for the sake of it. Even if we did break I wouldn't consider it. Though what I did have ended through text. I learned to get to know a guy in the future in person. What me and the guy had revolved around the internet. We spoke more online than in person. The other one ended with me telling the guy online again or I think through text that its better we're friends. That breakup wasn't bad, actually it was the right thing to do.

21) How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network?
Well I love inspiring people so it would be like One Tree Hill. Where there are lessons learned at the same time it is sad. I want it to show how I don't give up and I keep on going. I want it to show my downfalls and rising in life. I think probably etc seeing as alot of teen girls watch this channel.

#TheSW30 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Day 17: Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

17)   What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

I am a Catholic. This doesn't really effect any of my relationships because I do not judge someone by their race and I will respect them whatever their views are but I would avoid in the future being in a relationship with someone who practices another religion. I feel like it will be hard to combine two religions especially if i ever start a family with that particular person. 

#TheSW30

Days 9-16: Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

The days have gone by so quickly that I missed out on nearly a week of the challenge. I have been busy with school and sleeping as I was ill this week due to the amount of energy I used celebrating my birthday.

9)      Your favorite “weird/funny single behavior” – Anything you do that is uniquely YOU and that living alone allows you to do (For example, I sometimes dance around the house with my cat to Frank Sinatra)

Can picking out a wedgie be one? I can't seem to think of anything but this is one of the first things that came to mind when I read this question. I used to dance in my room alone but that was way back in high school, sadly I stopped after I turned 16. 

10)   Google the meaning of your name and talk about how it fits or doesn’t fit you

"Oath of God" is the meaning of my name. It fits me in many ways. I keep God extra close to my heart and everything I do, I do with God by my side.

11)   Your worst/funniest/most embarrassing date

I would't really say it was a date. But I guess it's the closest thing to a date. It was okay but there was A LOT of dead air! Also I spent a lot of time chewing and staring at the guys eyes. So I guess this would be embarrassing.

12)   Your proudest accomplishment

Living in a dorm. I was dependent and scared and I never thought I could do it. I've been staying in a dorm for nearly a year and I have made the greatest friends ever. It has made an impact on my life as it made me become even more independent. 

13)   Describe how you met the last person you texted and talk about your friendship/relationship

I guess it would have to be my mums friend's daughter. We met when our mums had a college reunion we just got talking. Then she decided to study at the same school and me and also boards in the same dorm as me. We have become even closer and at times I see her like a younger sister as she is younger than me. But she is great fun to be with! 

14)   Describe the last moment you felt really, truly blissful

My birthday last Sunday. I was so happy and pleased, I actually cried that night. I spent my birthday away from my mum and sister for the third time but I didn't feel the loneliness with the number of people who celebrated my birthday with me. There were thirteen of us altogether, first we had dinner then we did a bit of shopping they even decided to spoil me. It felt good to just have so many people in my life I didn't know what to say or to but I really did cherish that day. 

15)   Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?

Me: What happened to you?
Guy: I'm sorry I was busy
Me: So what are we? Like why did you stop contacting me? What happened after that day we met?
Guy: I don't know I just didn't feel anything

I made the situation even more awkward because even I don't know what I want to hear. I don't even care about this person anymore and well nothing happened with me and this particular person so I do not expect anything from him. But I always think to myself... what would I do or say if ever I did see him? 

16)   If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?

I guess beauty products to show my insecurities. I have so many insecurities that I know that one day I will finally accept what I have and I will just laugh at myself. I try so many things to try to get lighter because my biggest insecurity is my skin colour. I know that one day I will accept my skin colour so I am just waiting for that day. 

#TheSW30

Day 8: Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

8)      Five things that are most important to you in a future mate

1. Someone who I can talk to for hours and hours and will never get bored. For me the main thing that I want is to always have someone to talk to, where I can share stories and laugh with. 

2. Someone who has a future.

3. Confidence

4. Hard working

4. Doesn't take things too seriously

#TheSW30

Day 7: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

7)      Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

I am in college right now and so this is where I had expected myself to be. I never really thought of having someone in my life it is only recently that it has struck me that I am single and that I haven't fallen in love or had my first kiss. I turn 19 in two days and I am still inexperienced and still living happily and comfortably with friends and family. 

 #TheSW30 #TheSW30

Day 6: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

6)      Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”

I don't know what to write for this one. But from what I see most of the people I see in relationships are happy. I have heard once my friend told me that I should be happy that I am single, but that seems to hurt even more. I can't relate in any way with her and I have never been hurt by a guy but I'm not actually waiting for this. I hope whenever I do find a guy that it will only be him, my first and last. 

#TheSW30

Day 4: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

4)      Your biggest fear as a single person.

Being alone.  http://dreamerllie.blogspot.com/2013/11/loneliness-hitting-me-in-face.html

#TheSW30 

p.s. I had a bit of a mix up with the posts, I didn't publish number 4, I remember typing it but for somehow I didn't upload so I decided to put them together. The link is also linked to my answer to the question. 

Day 5: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

5)      The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

Well this is easy! Many people think that we are unhappy but this is not true. I love my life. I am so pleased with how far I have come and I am so happy and blessed with all the people, friends and family, that are in my life. I have all the freedom in the world; I can flirt, stay out late and I don't have to think about others (Not that I do these things). The freedom is there thought and so this is what makes me happy while others think that being single means that you are always sad.  

#TheSW30

Day 3: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

3)      Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.

Actually this morning I woke up and I said to myself I love being single! Last night I attended a wedding and I loved it. It was my cousins wedding and well I didn't have a date. That didn't bother me, I enjoyed it. I got to drink shot after shot after shot.

I was able to bond with cousins and see them dance and drink for the first time. I loved all the drinks! I liked the feeling of being able to drink and dance, make new friends and maybe flirt a little. No one is controlling me, no one is stopping me. It was just drinks, dance, friends and family. So I love it! I actually want a repeat of last night! I want more drinks!!!

#TheSW30 

Day 2: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

2)      Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.

Everyday I am in my dorm. I feel the loneliness kicking my ass. I can smell it, feel it, taste, see it. It kills. Its one of the worse feelings ever. I go back to my dorm and no one is there, I have no one to talk to and I don't even get any texts. Facebook and twitter become my best friends. Actually I posted about this in my previous posts about loneliness killing me. 

Feel free to read. http://dreamerllie.blogspot.com/2013/11/loneliness-hitting-me-in-face.html

#TheSW30

11/24/2013

Day 1: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

1)      Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

I hate hearing this and I don't even know how I am supposed to answer this. However whenever people do ask me I usually say "I don't know" or I just start giggling, because how can you answer this question? It hurts when people ask this and sometimes I am even pressured when asked this. At times it even gets awkward for me. 

#TheSW30 

Everything Life

Clogged with work,
Clogged with worry.
Just hope and dreams.
Hope from you,
Dreams from the future;
Two intertwined
Running through my veins.

I wish I made sense.
I wish I knew my way
Around the confusions of life.

I won't complicate things
Neither will you ever know.
It isn't what they think it is.
Know one knows,
I'll just live as it comes.

Prayer, strength and unidentified motivation
Is all I have right now!

Loneliness Hitting Me In The Face

Well I didn't get to finish off my uploads of Davao partly because I'm too lazy. I am tired but I can't sleep, sad but don't know why, waiting for something but not nothing comes along. Well I'm used to these things. I sleep more at my dorm than I do at home because of how bored and lonely I get.

This blog post is just my way of letting out my feelings. I feel a sense of loneliness it happened here in the Philippines. I don't have my mum with me or my sister and so I feel alone a lot. Even though my sister and I didn't get along or weren't close, without her around I feel incredibly lonely.  I don't have anyone to watch or argue over movies with.I don't have my mum telling me what to do or telling me off every move I make. I have my cousin and my family here and I have friends. Friends are not the same as family, no matter how close you are with them.

I guess maybe that is why I am always lonely and to fill in that space I decide to sleep, sleep and sleep.

Davao City: First Day

One of the cities I always wanted to visit was Davao. I saw and heard many thing about the beaches in Davao. I was even told how it was expensive to stay at the beaches however during my stay at Davao my family and I decided to take a break from the beach and tour around the city instead. We did a city tour, visited a few parks, went for a swim and pushed our limits by trying our first ever river rafting.

It was a tiring but unforgettable holiday I have had in ages. I fell in love with Davao but not as much as I love Cebu. Davao was clean and fresh with "No Smoking" signs in every corner. If you are a smoker it may not be the place for you. However you will enjoy the unpolluted and fresh air due to a less populated area and no smoking in any areas.

Hagimit falls was one of the first places we visited. The water was clear and incredibly blue it was calling my name for a swim but sadly all we did was take pictures and admire the beauty of the water, each taking a fall due to the slippery parts of the rocks.

Other places we visited were the bat caves and Maxima Resort. I was shocked by the number or bats that were hanging inside the caves, we did not get to go inside but we just got to have a look at the habitats of these bats. It wasn't a pleasant site or a pleasant smell. I never imagined there to be that many bats.

We stopped for lunch, quickly going for a dip sadly the rules were "No lifevests, no swimming." The water was extremely deep but it was a bother to be swimming with a life vest, it was more like floating. The water was the perfect temperature for the weather so it was great to go for a dip. Around us were different activities such as jet skiing, slides and snorkling. We chose to just float around in the water. 

Maxima Resort is located at Samal Island, an island off Davao so we had to take a boar before reaching the Island. Maxima had an infinite swimming pool and slides. The infinite swimming pools was located at under the sun, it was just a small swimming pool. Then the slide were not as slippery as we expected it to be but it was long at the same time. After a few slides, we decided to rest before heading back home. 

Maxima Resort and the bat caves were all located on Samal Island. 

Falling In Love With Journalism

After finishing my interviews with vendors at Baclaran it made me think.  I get to know Philippines even more. I get to speak to people who I don't usually speak to, I get to see a different side.

It's like getting to the heart of the Philippines, being able to hear the opinions of people and letting them speak.

I enjoy my course!  I haven't hated a single bit of it. The more I study it the more I get to know the Philippines. I appreciate the Philippines even more. I feel like I'm not here just to study in the Philippines. I continuously learn and experience new things not every day but just about enough. 

All of this has made me find myself and gain strength, confidence and independence. I am so happy to be here. 

People have downgraded my course, stepped on it and even compared it. Yes I know we might not earn enough money after we graduate.  But that is not what I am after.  That is not my dream.  I want to do what I love and not drown in money. Yes it would be nice to be rich and to have what you want. But I can live without it!

My life is not perfect but I see clearly everything and everyone I am blessed with.  Sometimes I am not happy with my life however after a while I realize I don't need to be sad, usually this is when my emotions get to me.

Its ok to step on my course but I am happy.  I wouldn't change it for a thing. I am thankful for everything in my life though I hurt inside with many things.  I'm still here, I haven't given up.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Here goes to sem break!

October 10, 2013

Sem break is here! However, I still have a news story to submit on saturday, I feel like a journalist right now. After a few finishing touches which I will do tomorrow I will be ready to submit and have nothing to think about for a while.

I don't think I will feel sem break until I see my grades, I feel like I can relax and breathe when I finally get to see my grades.

I aim to do so much for the sem break, I know most people want to rest. But I don't believe in rest right now, sleep will be my only rest for now but I want to be productive. I plan on reading, watching movies, catching up on One Tree Hill and transforming myself? Yes this sounds weird, transforming myself. I want to fall in love with myself this sem break! I want to know and understand myself and feel being me. I know I only have a short time to do this, but I will see what I can do.

During this week, I was taking exams trying my best and praying as hard as I ever have before. For once I wasn't thinking about guys, not having a boyfriend or being alone. I was thinking about England, my grades and next summer. I really hope to go back to England next year and I am giving my best efforts to achieve this.

Sadly I have been reminded a lot lately about being single. I mean, to be honest I do wish I could experience being in a relationship and having a boyfriend. But I'm content with my life. I have the most amazing friends and a great family here in the Philippines. I continuously pray and thank God for all the blessings I have here in the Philippines and I can't thank God enough for everything that I have been given. I don't pray to have a boyfriend, I have never prayed hard for this. I believe in fate and destiny, it will come when it wants to. Although I throw around jokes a lot about getting a boyfriend, I don't actually mean it. For me being single means being independent, it shows and lets me prove that I don't need a guy to inspire and motivate me. I can do it all alone and plus I have the support of my family and friends. I don't need anyone else.

Finding myself and getting to know myself is all I want right now. I want to prepare and continue working towards my dream to go New York. I know I haven't worked as hard yet but I am slowly getting there, I'm finally studying after all. I was so surprised with my self this week, I actually studied and well I did study before but I was able to answer questions confidently. I knew the answers straight away and I love that feeling, that is why I didn't cry this week! My studying paid off and I was so pleased but I don't feel content yet, not until I see my grades, not until I'm in England next year. I will continue to work and aim high. So far this has worked for me. I really wanted to come here to the Philippines, I fought for it and I couldn't stop talking about it. I made it. It will be my second next week and I am so proud of how far I have come. I am so proud of my capabilities however it doesn't stop there, I won't stop working and trying to aim higher.

UST vs Ateneo

Sea of Tomasians supporting the Tigers in yellow before the game kicked off 

UST Yellow Jackets 

Ateneo performing 

Winning score 82-72 to UST 

     Another experience I can share on my blog is my trip to Araneta for the basketball game between UST and Ateneo. This game would distinguish who will succeed to the final four. UST made it and I am proud! I am glad that I was there to watch them win even though the finals are yet to come.

The game was great to watch. I saw many fouls being declared, tension during free throws and even heart stopping moments as UST and Ateneo were chasing after the scores.

Before the game started they were already practicing their shooting. I was just taking in the atmosphere when my friend told me how good the Eagles were at shooting. I replied back 'stop', so that she wouldn't jinx the game.

I ended up admitting to my friend that the Eagles' are pretty good at playing. If I was supporting Ateneo I would be disappointed that they didn't win today.

 I got annoyed with many Tomasians 'boo-ing' towards the opposite team because I think it's good to be a sport. Both teams played well and I don't want to show off. I want to be fair but I am proud of my school. Hard work pays off!

9/18/13

I'm Not A Fan!

Where do I start? I'm not a music geek and I don't know much about music. The first song I heard by Lady GaGa was  Just Dance and I loved it! It was very catchy, it's something I would listen to but not something  I would listen to all day.

Then Lady GaGa continued to make music and they all did really well, some had a meaning like Born This Way. However the music videos were slowly becoming explicit and I don't know why.

She wears less clothes, does provocative things and it's not music anymore for me. For me a music video should relate and tell the story of the song. I guess a music video is for entertainment but shouldn't a music video mean something. It shouldn't be about how you have less clothes on but about the song, the meaning and how we can relate to it.

I always tell people how I much prefer to listen to artists from Youtube. The songs are original or rather not auto tuned. Artists off Youtube don't try to impress the mass, they're not mainstream but they sound better than the ones on mainstream because it's different; it's not the same thing you hear everyday and everywhere. Mainstream music adjust to the mass however those off Youtube don't need to do this even though they might not have as many fans as those mainstream artists.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Bored. Nothing to do.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

I Love My Life

There's so many things running through my mind.  Sometimes I can't even describe it. I don't want to.

Everything I feel I put right at the back of my mind because the more I think of it the more I waste my time. 

I want to be happy and I want to be strong.  I'm the kind of girl that has so many things going on but I still manage to smile.  Why should I waste my time thinking about things that hurt me? I have so many reasons to smile... I have never forgotten that God has never left me alone.  I have everything that I want but I am still not satisfied. 

I'm still running through life; figuring things out,  learning things and piecing everything together.  I feel and know that I am on the right track. That is why I am so proud of myself. 

I am in love and loving the life I am living.  It may not be perfect. I accept that.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/10391939/?claim=k9sfvub6jje">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Not Just A Journey Through Life

Here below is an essay that I wrote back in High School. I was so shocked to find it hidden in my laptop. It made me cringe as I read it, what a crazy essay I wrote! 

Bright rays of sun bombard my body. It’s as if I’m lying naked on the sun. My eyes open groggily like I’ve just been knocked out by a heavy loaded truck. Then I suddenly become aware of my surroundings.

I remember people telling me how dreams were like being in paradise. Everything is perfect. Everything you wish for would be there right before your very own eyes. This isn’t a dream. This is real. How would I know? It’s because it’s too real; too good to be true.

                                                            ***

The sea was a magnificent shimmering turquoise, sparkling like glitter as the fresh sea water rippled tenderly against the earth. It was like listening to classical music. Tranquil. Composed. Serene. I got up and wandered around hastily, abruptly I went blind as my eyes widened by the excitement of being here. It was intense as my eyes flickered from corner to corner; I transformed into a microscope as I could see everything from the brightness hitting my intrepid eyes.
 So I continued moving my feet through the warm soft tingly sand. Finally I smelt something familiar something that passed through my nose and tickled my senses making me feel at home. It gave me butterflies in my tummy and sent a shockwave through my body. Following this trail of smell with excitement overpowering me; I was about to turn into a  bird as I felt like I had wings and couldn’t wait to use it to get to the end of this smell.
There it was...My shoulders were like ice cream cold and icy but then I started to melt as something temperate touched my bony right shoulder. Sweeping around not knowing what I was to say to whoever this alien was. Surprisingly I wasn’t expecting to see anyone here; I hoped it to be only me but this man made my heart belt out for joy. Fixed there like he was from the army, head held up high, with a very stiff and masculine body. Though his arms were dangling freely by his sides he had a very unfamiliar kind of smile, which made him look aggressive like he was mentally messing with my brain. My tongue went missing. So I bolted for it. Running the marathon nothing could get in my way! He had devil like eyes, I didn’t even think it were possible but I scattered into the trees and the plants in front of me searching for somewhere a petite person like me would fit.
Spotting an odd looking tree, I wanted to hide by it but it looked like a giant’s foot. No way was I going to squeeze myself in there. So I found an alternative, a pile of huge green leaves. Hiding quietly under the leaves I held my nose and mouth securely for my dear life; terror shook my body instantaneously as I examined that stranger from head to foot. Mysteries circled my head. I didn’t expect anyone to be on this island. A few minutes later I drifted off, tiredness and trepidation both collided together in my body and my limbs could no longer take it...                                                                ***A warm tingly touch hovered down my arm, a warm mist brushed against my neck. My breathe belonged to someone else; no longer was I able to breathe. Suffocating but inside it felt illusory, my heart was pumping more than it ever had before. A bomb was planted into my heart as it exploded into a million pieces of lust...My eyes progressively opened meeting a pair of intimidating eyes. This was the man I had bolted from, the guy that nearly took my head off from being so frightened. Kneeling in front of me on the bed I felt like was floating in the sky full of grey dull clouds. I didn’t know what to think. He had an unfamiliar grin but he made me feel out of this world. Words in my mouth were flying around trying to complete a sentence for me to utter but I was out of my mind. Our eyes were imprisoned with each others; we did not blink. Neither did his facial expression change; from these moments we were locked into each other, the bond felt stronger than the walls holding a house together. His face was shaped like a plumped upside down triangle, with eyes the colour of the most expensive succulent chocolate anyone could ever put their hands on and he had tanned skin evenly spread around his body.
A sparkle came from his eyes as he smiled making my ears ring of joy. He crept off the bed and went through the door. Was that it? What next? Trailing behind him like a lost sheep I explored my surroundings. BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING!... BANG I leapt to the ground as I felt something more powerful than a human smack pound at my face. It was a basketball. He had the cheek to snicker and fall to the ground in stitches. Full of rage as my face felt numb and dead. So I flung the ball hoping it would leave black and blue bruises all over his face. It missed...Before I knew it we were flying through the basketball court, tossing, catching and shooting the ball into the hoop. We played for what felt like days. Even though we were out of breathe and had driven the energy out of each of us we kept on going. In the end I found myself watching the most magnificent, most superlative skies with his drowned out body next to mine.
The warm breath I felt when I woke up on the bed approached me the second time. This time it was more than I expected. Edging towards him our lips swept each others. Eyes shut our lips touched again. Love and lust darted every corner of my heart...

First Wedding of the Year

Last night I attended my first ever wedding here in the Philippines and I realized the celebrations here are the best to experience. I attended a debut last year but unfortunately I don't have many pictures as I was not very active yet on blogspot. Both the wedding and the debut I could not watch a single moment without opening my mouth. I was so happy to be invited and to be able to spend all these special moments with the debutant and the couple. These moments to me are special and really make my heart scream with joy. They are stepping stones and the way they celebrate it here is completely different to back in England. The themes are attractive and eye catching, the people are happy and the aroma is different. You have all the guests all interacting and smiling. You can see the happiness on their faces. They don't just dance but they share special messages, they make it extra special by giving surprises and playing great songs.

I love how there are more interactions here! People are not shy to share there messages that come straight from the heart. Also at both these parties there was no alcohol. It showed how you can have a great time without indulging yourself in alcohol. You are able to enjoy the celebration sober and you are able to appreciate every moment.

Going The Right Way

I wonder if it's normal to think about the past, the past seems to be haunting me lately. Recently I have been comparing my life now to my life back in England. I feel like I am going the right way. I feel like I've done a lot already. I am so proud and happy with where I am and of who I am today.

Here in the Philippines I am surrounded by happy and positive friends and family, my friends in England made me happy too. However here they live simple lives and no matter what comes their way they still look at the bright side, they don't give up easily.

In England I came home to a negative atmosphere full of regrets and problems. Here in the Philippines no matter what the problems are or how tired they are they still manage to smile. The world doesn't end for them.

I know that what I have written can really hurt people. I don't want to complain and I don't want to blame how I feel on anyone  but I know where my happiness is; I know what makes me happy. I have learned and experienced so much which has made me realize where my happiness comes from.

I don't mean to be selfish, I do think about others but for once I choose to think about myself. I want to make myself happy and I know that all my loved ones will hopefully support and understand me, that I am happy here in the Philippines.

All I have to think about here are my studies, I don't have distractions or anything that gets in my way except for laziness. I can overcome laziness but not that feeling of having problems, complaints and regrets when I come home.

Finally

As I go on with my course, I am loving my course even more! Yesterday I was drained. After 2 hours of basketball and then another 2 hours of hunting for news I finally got to get a taste of what being a journalist is really like. Although I am aiming to work in a magazine when I am older, I am enjoying the activities and writings we have to do for our major subjects. This is what I was looking for since the 1st year of college; being able to finally write.

Together with my friend we went to seven different town halls and yes it was tiring and frustrating. However as I am an adventurous person I got to go to places I've never been to before. I got to go behind streets that I never even knew about; I got to go to places where the people where completely different to the usual day to day people that I see. They dressed more simpler, they wore slippers instead of shoes, they were dressed in t-shirt and shorts or maybe even jeans and they spoke in fluent Filipino no traces of English in their sentences.

One of the problems I encountered was the language barrier; I am used to friends talking in Filipino but mixed with English but then I experienced someone communicating with me and my friend in pure Filipino. It was difficult, I had to really pay attention and analyze what he was saying before I could process everything he was saying.

All in all I enjoyed what I got to experience I wouldn't mind doing it again. I can bring all these memories back in England. I can tell people I've been to all different kinds of places here in the Philippines and I am willing to go to even more places.

Lyrics With A Meaning

All this talking to you I don't know what I'm to do I don't know where you stand What's inside of your head 
All this thinking of you Is that what your doing too?You're always on my mind I talk about you all the time  
Don't waste another day Don't waste another minute I can't wait to see your face Just to show how much I'm in it So open up your heart Help me understand Please tell me who you are So I could show you who I am 

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/avril_lavigne/

These lyrics mean so much to me right now! I describes exactly how I feel. No other words can be used to describe my feelings.After listening to this song I got addicted to it and it made me miss listening to Avril Lavigne. I remember how I was a huge fan; I would copy the way she dresses, her make-up and hairstyles.

Oh those times! I wish I could go back to them.

Its loud for a reason
I refuse to turn it down

It beats like that for a reason
I refuse to let it stop me

The music won't stop
My ears won't give in

This isn't about love
This is about feelings

I can't explain
I don't know how

A confused girl
Traveling to her dreams

You'll see me there
Standing strong

With only happiness and gratefulness
Overpowering me

Blessed as usual, always blessed
Thankful for everything in my life

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

DREAM

Doing what you want
Really believing yourself
Even leaving love ones behind
A sacrifice that must be made
My life, my way, my dream

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Everything Life

Clogged with work,
Clogged with worry.
Just hope and dreams.
Hope from you,
Dreams from the future;
Two intertwined
Running through my veins.

I wish I made sense.
I wish I knew my way
Around the confusions of life.

I won't complicate things
Neither will you ever know.
It isn't what they think it is.
Know one knows,
I'll just live as it comes.

Prayer, strength and unidentified motivation
Is all I have right now!

For A Friend

As you weep
As you cry
As you tumble down and die
Look around
And hear the sounds.

Those who stare
Those who care
Those who won't go anywhere.

Open your heart
Open your mind
Arms wide open.

This is your token.
Only love, love, love.

My Dream

I can smell it
I can touch it
I can feel it
I can hear it

Its right there
I know it

I dreamed a dream
But now its THE dream
Its my dream

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Is College Supposed To Be This Fun

High school was full of tears and finding myself. Being alone and trying to find out who my friends are and where I fit in. I remember roaming around and looking for friends. But now in college as I walk through the campus it's because I am being independent. I am finally doing something on my own. I made my own decision to come here and that is a start toward my dreams.

Being independent is one of the things I have learned at college. That is what I have always longed for, I strive for that freedom. I got it!

I got what I want. This is my second year at college and I have made so many memories! I have had so much fun and laughter I never experienced this back in high school. I don't want college to end, although I want to graduate and I am excited for it, I'm not in a rush. Unlike back in high school I was so excited to move away from home and to never have to face particular people ever again.

Back in high school if it wasn't at home where there was drama it was at school. Where ever I went drama chased me. Life is so different to back then. Here the only drama I have is, well grades. Apart from that, no rumors are spread about me, people know me, I have more friends and I am faced with no fights or tension at home.

I can concentrate on my studies and that is all I focus on because nothing drags me down anymore. I don't have anything to think or worry about, which is one of the best feelings.

Optimism

I have always been an optimistic person, it is such a great feeling. Being able to see the good sides in all problems that we face in life.

Whenever I see the good things in life I see how blessed I am. I see all the things that I am lucky to have. 

For me optimism goes a long way, it can get you far, it can make you reach your dreams. Being optimistic means you see all the other options in life. In means you see and take all opportunities in life. There is nothing bad about hoping,  hoping means you have something to look forward to! 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

I Know Who I Am, But Where Am I?

I was having a chat with a close friend earlier. She was telling me how she feels and I was telling her how I feel. I love having her around and she means so much to me. She is someone I can talk to about anything and everything. I am so glad I met her!

There is one thing that God gives me all the time wherever I go and that would be friends. God has never ever left me alone, although there are times that I feel lonely. Loneliness can really drag me down. It can really make me question where am I?

I have developed. I have improved. I have become better and stronger as a person. I am so proud of what I have, how far I've come and who I am. I don't regret anything. Apart from grades that are slightly improving I haven't given up; I don't intend on giving up. I have a dream and I am going towards that.

But where is my love life? What happened to it? Do I even need one? Why is it taking this long? Why am I even looking for it? Who says we need it in our lives? Why does it even exist? 

I don't want it, I mean I am happy with my life. But for some reason I urge for it. I urge for that sweetness that I see happen on tv. I hear stories from my friends, I don't get jealous but I wonder how comes I haven't experienced it yet. I don't have stories to tell where I can cry or laugh about. 

My past relationships don't even count. It was forced and I wasn't ready, I was copying others. I was going with the flow, however it went nowhere.

I know everything happens for a reason. I know maybe this is not the right time. I know that God has it all planned, its all there. That idea. But it just won't sink in. It won't program into my brain and heart. It hurts not to be able to relate to others, to not be able to experience this thing called "love." But I am happy with my life. I have family and friends why do I need a guy in my life? I wish someone could answer it for me. 

I wish someone could answer all this for me but I don't think anyone can. I think God will just show me these answers, and I guess I just have to trust him. I pray and tell him that its up to him now. But then I forget I don't know how to. I don't know where I'm going. 

I can officially say I have found who I am but not where I am right now. I want to be able to answer these questions or I want someone to explain this to me. But (again) why do we need love? Is having a crush or liking someone even real? I forgot what it felt like. I don't even know if my feelings are real. 

God. That's it really, I guess I will just rely on him even though I don't know how to do this. I am going to try my best to find answers to what I am feeling.

Hello Second Year of College

So I've survived two weeks of my second year of college.  And well it shocked me that I really felt like I was experiencing alot more than back in my first year! 

Within two days I experienced walking through the flood and traveling on my own!

I wasn't expecting to be trapped inside a building! The floods came from nowhere with just 30mins of rain. There was no way out but to walk through the floods. I hated that feeling where dirty water was showering my legs! I felt sorry for those who walked through the flood without shoes on but I know half of them chose to do that! I chose to walk through the flood with my shoes on completely soaking them!

Then there was my experience of communiting or in other words taking public transport.  Well it was fun! My friend went with me half way we toom a tricycle and then a train arguing before hand with the tricycle driver to lower the fees.

The train here is not bad! I prefer the view here than back in England as it is under ground. Also it is easier to catch a train here they all go one way and there's not many train lines to pick from.  Back in England you have the central line, district line, Picadilly line and so on.

My final strive was taking a taxi
My friend with me made sure I was in the taxi before she decided to continue her own journey back home. I had a friendly chat with the driver starting with him asking if I was Indian. To avoid having to explain my mix I decided to nod at his question. But then he decided to give his own opinions and views about life.  To do with how the tuition fee of UST is expensive to people like him, but for me it is cheaper.  I decided to just agree and answer back with and 'opo.' It was the most polite thing I could think of and it meant I could here everything he had to say. He said everything from the heart as I just let him. I let him get what he wanted to say off his chest!

So being in a taxi I was able to hear what someone from the mass had to say. Which was very interesting! 

So I guess I can add all of this to my list of experiences. I have more to add and I know they are just around the corner!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10