Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Bored. Nothing to do.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

I Love My Life

There's so many things running through my mind.  Sometimes I can't even describe it. I don't want to.

Everything I feel I put right at the back of my mind because the more I think of it the more I waste my time. 

I want to be happy and I want to be strong.  I'm the kind of girl that has so many things going on but I still manage to smile.  Why should I waste my time thinking about things that hurt me? I have so many reasons to smile... I have never forgotten that God has never left me alone.  I have everything that I want but I am still not satisfied. 

I'm still running through life; figuring things out,  learning things and piecing everything together.  I feel and know that I am on the right track. That is why I am so proud of myself. 

I am in love and loving the life I am living.  It may not be perfect. I accept that.

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Not Just A Journey Through Life

Here below is an essay that I wrote back in High School. I was so shocked to find it hidden in my laptop. It made me cringe as I read it, what a crazy essay I wrote! 

Bright rays of sun bombard my body. It’s as if I’m lying naked on the sun. My eyes open groggily like I’ve just been knocked out by a heavy loaded truck. Then I suddenly become aware of my surroundings.

I remember people telling me how dreams were like being in paradise. Everything is perfect. Everything you wish for would be there right before your very own eyes. This isn’t a dream. This is real. How would I know? It’s because it’s too real; too good to be true.

                                                            ***

The sea was a magnificent shimmering turquoise, sparkling like glitter as the fresh sea water rippled tenderly against the earth. It was like listening to classical music. Tranquil. Composed. Serene. I got up and wandered around hastily, abruptly I went blind as my eyes widened by the excitement of being here. It was intense as my eyes flickered from corner to corner; I transformed into a microscope as I could see everything from the brightness hitting my intrepid eyes.
 So I continued moving my feet through the warm soft tingly sand. Finally I smelt something familiar something that passed through my nose and tickled my senses making me feel at home. It gave me butterflies in my tummy and sent a shockwave through my body. Following this trail of smell with excitement overpowering me; I was about to turn into a  bird as I felt like I had wings and couldn’t wait to use it to get to the end of this smell.
There it was...My shoulders were like ice cream cold and icy but then I started to melt as something temperate touched my bony right shoulder. Sweeping around not knowing what I was to say to whoever this alien was. Surprisingly I wasn’t expecting to see anyone here; I hoped it to be only me but this man made my heart belt out for joy. Fixed there like he was from the army, head held up high, with a very stiff and masculine body. Though his arms were dangling freely by his sides he had a very unfamiliar kind of smile, which made him look aggressive like he was mentally messing with my brain. My tongue went missing. So I bolted for it. Running the marathon nothing could get in my way! He had devil like eyes, I didn’t even think it were possible but I scattered into the trees and the plants in front of me searching for somewhere a petite person like me would fit.
Spotting an odd looking tree, I wanted to hide by it but it looked like a giant’s foot. No way was I going to squeeze myself in there. So I found an alternative, a pile of huge green leaves. Hiding quietly under the leaves I held my nose and mouth securely for my dear life; terror shook my body instantaneously as I examined that stranger from head to foot. Mysteries circled my head. I didn’t expect anyone to be on this island. A few minutes later I drifted off, tiredness and trepidation both collided together in my body and my limbs could no longer take it...                                                                ***A warm tingly touch hovered down my arm, a warm mist brushed against my neck. My breathe belonged to someone else; no longer was I able to breathe. Suffocating but inside it felt illusory, my heart was pumping more than it ever had before. A bomb was planted into my heart as it exploded into a million pieces of lust...My eyes progressively opened meeting a pair of intimidating eyes. This was the man I had bolted from, the guy that nearly took my head off from being so frightened. Kneeling in front of me on the bed I felt like was floating in the sky full of grey dull clouds. I didn’t know what to think. He had an unfamiliar grin but he made me feel out of this world. Words in my mouth were flying around trying to complete a sentence for me to utter but I was out of my mind. Our eyes were imprisoned with each others; we did not blink. Neither did his facial expression change; from these moments we were locked into each other, the bond felt stronger than the walls holding a house together. His face was shaped like a plumped upside down triangle, with eyes the colour of the most expensive succulent chocolate anyone could ever put their hands on and he had tanned skin evenly spread around his body.
A sparkle came from his eyes as he smiled making my ears ring of joy. He crept off the bed and went through the door. Was that it? What next? Trailing behind him like a lost sheep I explored my surroundings. BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING!... BANG I leapt to the ground as I felt something more powerful than a human smack pound at my face. It was a basketball. He had the cheek to snicker and fall to the ground in stitches. Full of rage as my face felt numb and dead. So I flung the ball hoping it would leave black and blue bruises all over his face. It missed...Before I knew it we were flying through the basketball court, tossing, catching and shooting the ball into the hoop. We played for what felt like days. Even though we were out of breathe and had driven the energy out of each of us we kept on going. In the end I found myself watching the most magnificent, most superlative skies with his drowned out body next to mine.
The warm breath I felt when I woke up on the bed approached me the second time. This time it was more than I expected. Edging towards him our lips swept each others. Eyes shut our lips touched again. Love and lust darted every corner of my heart...

First Wedding of the Year

Last night I attended my first ever wedding here in the Philippines and I realized the celebrations here are the best to experience. I attended a debut last year but unfortunately I don't have many pictures as I was not very active yet on blogspot. Both the wedding and the debut I could not watch a single moment without opening my mouth. I was so happy to be invited and to be able to spend all these special moments with the debutant and the couple. These moments to me are special and really make my heart scream with joy. They are stepping stones and the way they celebrate it here is completely different to back in England. The themes are attractive and eye catching, the people are happy and the aroma is different. You have all the guests all interacting and smiling. You can see the happiness on their faces. They don't just dance but they share special messages, they make it extra special by giving surprises and playing great songs.

I love how there are more interactions here! People are not shy to share there messages that come straight from the heart. Also at both these parties there was no alcohol. It showed how you can have a great time without indulging yourself in alcohol. You are able to enjoy the celebration sober and you are able to appreciate every moment.

Going The Right Way

I wonder if it's normal to think about the past, the past seems to be haunting me lately. Recently I have been comparing my life now to my life back in England. I feel like I am going the right way. I feel like I've done a lot already. I am so proud and happy with where I am and of who I am today.

Here in the Philippines I am surrounded by happy and positive friends and family, my friends in England made me happy too. However here they live simple lives and no matter what comes their way they still look at the bright side, they don't give up easily.

In England I came home to a negative atmosphere full of regrets and problems. Here in the Philippines no matter what the problems are or how tired they are they still manage to smile. The world doesn't end for them.

I know that what I have written can really hurt people. I don't want to complain and I don't want to blame how I feel on anyone  but I know where my happiness is; I know what makes me happy. I have learned and experienced so much which has made me realize where my happiness comes from.

I don't mean to be selfish, I do think about others but for once I choose to think about myself. I want to make myself happy and I know that all my loved ones will hopefully support and understand me, that I am happy here in the Philippines.

All I have to think about here are my studies, I don't have distractions or anything that gets in my way except for laziness. I can overcome laziness but not that feeling of having problems, complaints and regrets when I come home.