His arms wrapped around your waist while you feel
his torso pressed against your body, you are connected in every way; your arms
wrapped around his neck and your head buried into his warm comfy shoulder. Have
you ever been in that kind of situation where forever seems so possible, where
you don’t want to let go and you just want to close your eyes and not have to
worry about tomorrow.
Love is all around us, it doesn’t have to be love between
a boyfriend/girlfriend but it can be with family, friends or even yourself. It
is something we all experience and go through in our lives, it can be the best
thing we’ve ever experienced or it can be something that tears are apart. It
can wound us to the point where we become afraid to love again or we get
traumatized and avoid the situation.
There are many reasons why we all wish to experience
the love between a special someone, we want to feel the love; we want to have
those sweet romantic moments. Movies show us happy endings, they show us that
love can be the happiest moments in our lives. Where you go on cute romantic
dates in the park, or where you kiss in the rain, or where you just lie down
with that particular person and your whole world stops and all you have are
each other.
What does this have to do with college? What does it
have to do with students?
Having a relationship is part of growing up. In
college some have already experienced being in a relationship or some have
carried on from high or some have never experienced it before. But as we grow
up relationships start to have a different meaning, it starts to become more
serious, it becomes different in a way that high school and college is a whole
new jump and adapting to college can already be a challenge, what more if you
are in a relationship.
Back in High School usually relationships would be
referred to as puppy love, Urban Dictionary describes it as “The love between a
young couple within a few weeks of getting together. Not really true love, more
blind affection - immature, young love.”
High school is the stage of puberty where you start
to develop feelings for someone; you try to impress the other gender in
different ways. You start to go on dates and maybe even have your first kiss.
But what is it like now? What is the difference?
Four students were interviewed sharing their
relationship stories that they are currently in. They were asked what their
best and worse experiences are, if it gets in their way of their studies and to
compare their relationships encountered in high school and now in college.
An eighteen-year-old student told us that “high
school is a smaller world than college” and that “in high school you can focus
on the relationships more.” She tells us that the best part of being in a relationship
is that when they both accept and support each other. However the downside to
her relationship is that they fight and get angry over unnecessarily things.
Another student also said the same thing, she complained that she would get
distracted whenever she would have an argument with her boyfriend and to top it
off she would have restrictions ordered by her boyfriend, which makes it her
worse part of being in a relationship. But the best part for her is that she
feels secure and she always has someone there for her.
Another two
students compared their relationships with high school and college based from
their experience. A twenty-year-old student said that “being in college
involves having bigger responsibilities and priorities. In high school it was
like playing but in college you have to be serious, and when you’re in a
relationship while in college you have to get serious.”
The other student told us that “it is way different
to [having] a relationship in college than in high school. When you were in
high school you think of petty things you just want to have fun or you would
tend to cling too much. But once you enter college you envision things in a
more mature way, of course you are preparing yourself for the future.”
An issue that was discussed with these students is
if it got in the way of their studies, two answered no and the other two were
indefinite answers. One mentioned that it was only sometimes it would get in
the way as long as they knew their priorities and could separate their love
life and school then it wouldn’t always get in the way. The two that said no
said that she would text her boyfriend whenever she would have time while the
other one said that “if the person loves you and you love him you’ll learn how
to balance your time with him and school. He wouldn’t’ demand so much from you
that it comes to a point where it harms your studies.” The last student
interviewed told us that she would schedule dates during her free time and that
she would finish her school works before meeting up with her boyfriend.
For these students who are in a relationship it can
add flavor but at the same time add commotion to
their lives. What about those
who have never been in a relationship or who chose not be in one?
Three students were interviewed all who have never
experienced being in a relationship before, all who do not wish to be in a
relationship either. One enjoys her freedom and does not wish to be controlled,
she refuses to have someone restrict her from the things she wants to do and
she would rather focus on her career, being in her 5th year of
accountancy she is about to graduate and she mentions how she has no time to
have a boyfriend.
Another student says how it is nice to have a
companionship however it is not that importance and for her she would rather
not rush it saying that the “strongest relationship is from friends because you
have something to build on.” She too would also like to focus on her studies.
An eighteen-year-old student was raised in a
conservative family and did not discuss with family; she had a culture shock
coming from high school to college where many students had a boyfriend or a
girlfriend and she suddenly became curious. Although she did have a “crush” she
would say to her self that she doesn’t like people being with her all the time
and that she would get tired of people easily. She experienced having a crush
but she never ended up with him, it has affected the way that she sees
relationships especially as she doesn’t really imagine being with anyone at the
moment. She mentions how people have different perspectives about each other
and that people will look at things differently as they mature because of
experiences. Another thing that she mentions was that she says it might be hard
for her to get into a relationship now as she has never experienced one and she
feels like she would need instructions to be in.
There are different views of being in a relationship
while still being a student, some don’t wish to experience it some are finding
ways to balance their time with their partners. Everyone has different ways in
dealing with this particular stage in their lives. The main thing here is what
students want the most, whether or not they just want to focus on their careers
and studies or whether they want to experience love and sparks while studying,
maybe for a bit of inspiration. It is up to them how they wish to spend their
college life,some can balance their time others cannot. Going through this
struggle is just another step in a students’ life where they experience
struggles and hardships, but as they enter the stage of adulthood they grow and
mature. Students learn from their mistakes or become emotionally stronger whenever
any difficulties face them, they realize that this is a part of life and that
college is just another stepping stone and it is never easy but it helps to
shape everyone as a person.
