Appreciating Myself

Yesterday I did something for the first time and I actually enjoyed it, I appreciated it and it was the best feeling I have ever experienced. I spent it alone. While sipping on my cafe americano and reading Cosmopolitan I was taking in the sweet taste of my bubblegum cupcake. This was my first time ever to do something alone in a public place.

I was never that person who walked around the mall on my own, or who ordered food alone, or even sat on my own. I actually got lost reading the magazine. I was comfortable and it felt normal. It felt great.

In a days time I will be travelling alone back to London. I am excited for this. I will finally get to walk on my own, roam around alone. I am not even nervous or worried, I am excited. For me as long as I have money I will definitely enjoy this time alone.

I want to prepare myself for New York, where one day I will lose myself and enjoy the company of myself only.

I want to be left alone. I don't want anyone guiding me; telling me what to do; checking up on me and worrying about me. I want to be alone, I want to walk on my own and lose myself where I can learn, grow and experience, meet new people, and learn new things. It doesn't scare me one bit. I'm looking forward to doing things on my own. I want to shop alone. I want to roam around on my own and just appreciate everything on my own. I want to take it all in only through my eyes where I can experience it on my own.

I don't need anyone on my side anymore, I want to live this life standing with my two feet only!