I don't want to be a fan girl anymore. Being a fan girl means you live in a dream world. I want to experience what's real, I want to know what's real. You will forever be hoping and waiting. One day I will realize that all of this will have meant nothing. I will wake up and laugh at myself and think "why did I fan girl over you?"
I will get along with my life living the way I should be and I will just see him as someone on tv doing his job. What will happen though if one day I am faced with him, an interview perhaps. I can not let that get in the way of my career. So why can't I get over you. I'm nineteen already and I've been fangirling since high school over the same guy.
It's not something I can just resign from or give up on. I don't know when I will stop or when I will forget about him. For me it's like an illness, I feel like it's a sickness. It is a part of life but you can't avoid it and it's hard to just shake it off. It will always be there. I didn't say to myself "he's hot, fangirl over him."
This was not a choice it just passed through me. It happened and will continue to happen, but I don't know how long it will last. I wish it would end soon though. What will I get from it anyway?
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