Never Been Kissed

Yup that's me. I am actually proud of myself that I haven't had my first kiss, though I always imagine when and who I will have it with. Not everyone reaches this far.  Many regret their first kiss others enjoyed it, I'm thankful I'm in neither category.

The other day I watched the movie Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore and I realized how much I could relate to it. I thought to myself why isn't this my favourite movie? Just like her where she was not part of the popular crowd I wasn't either; I was invisible instead. Where everyone knew Josie's name, no one knew mine. Even if they were in my class they would forget that I was there too. No one knew me or if they did they tagged me as "The Shy One" or "The Quiet One." I didn't enjoy High School, I did have friends sadly I felt like I didn't fit in perfectly. However I did have their support and they were always there for me! I remember there were times where I would walk around campus on my own because I didn't have anyone to go to. I did feel like a loner a lot. I remember one time I cried so much I locked myself in the bathroom because I felt like I had nothing and I was so alone. High School wasn't my favourite years of my life. It was painful for me.

There is nothing I would change because I am so happy with my life right now. If I changed anything in the past I would lose something in the present and I don't want that. High School made me stronger, it made me realize and learn many things. If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have tried to find myself in the Philippines. I wouldn't have toughened up and gained confidence, I feel like I needed to be shy to become who I am today. I know I have a long way to go, that's the thing, I have a long way to go why should I go back and change anything.

I feel Josie, because we all want to have that kind of popularity and we want to be noticed. Everything we go through in high school can shape, teach and make us who we are for the future. It gives us the standards to what we should be in college. We choose to be someone different than that person we were back in High School. We find ourselves as we go through our lives. I am doing this day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year. Working on myself and becoming who I want to be.

First Time

The first month of the year was literally a crazy roller coaster ride. I've already had my ups and downs this month, where I've cried so hard but laughed  louder at the same time. I experienced having my first ever sleepover with friends. 

About a week ago I went all the way to Laguna to attend a debut. I was proud to also be a part of the program for the second time. The first time I was one of the 18 candles this time around I was one of the Treasures. I bought the debutant a UAAP magazine as I knew she was a fan of sports and then a notebook seeing as she is part of the Tom Web organization in our University I knew she would be able to use this. After great food and the program being successful and fun. Actually this was the first time I saw an 18 man dance. I had no idea what this was at first but then I saw how she danced with 18 elderly men in her life. To continue with the celebration we were given one bottle of tequila which we shared between another group. However, they gave up on drinking and we took it up to our room. There were seven of us in the room and we just spent the night chit-chatting and laughing our minds off. I've never laughed that much before to the point where even after everyone stopped laughing I still had the urge to laugh. The jokes just wouldn't leave me. Some of us slept early some of us slept for two hours, I was one of them. We were all in one room but we fitted perfectly. Even without all the alcohol we still managed to have fun. 

My second sleepover was fairly short and this time around we did sleep. We watched a bit of Breakfast at Tiffany's and we just hanged around our house. It was just so comfortable and normal that it didn't really feel like I was sleeping over. I think it's because we see each other all the time. Every day we see each other and so I think I've gotten used to my friends company, which is great to have. 

Well so far that's all that's happened that has really stood out. Hopefully I will have many more 'first time moments' this year. 

I Salute 2013!

Well, this year has been pretty good. I've enjoyed it and I've learned a lot. I feel like I have matured a lot more than before. I finally feel comfortable with myself. I didn't have many downs this year, I did have one but I rose from it and I really kept on fighting for myself.

I learned to let go of the things unnecessary and to enjoy and have fun with my life. I can see clearly than ever before that I have friends and family that are always there for me. I got over the whole being single issue. I am so proud of how far I have come and I am so happy with my life. Yes it is not perfect but I have learned to appreciate and count all the blessings I have.

I am thankful for everything that has come into my life; friends, family, grades. My highlight was passing all my subjects and turning 19. I went to bed on my 19th birthday realizing I should be happy with my life and I am.

I don't know what else to say about this year, but I enjoyed this year. I am even more comfortable with my life and I feel freer and more mature than previously. I am excited for 2014 hopefully I will be able to go back to England and I will be able to find the final answer to why I really did come to the Philippines. I want to clear things out with myself and for my future. I aim to know what I want next year for my future ahead of me. I am ready to take on anything next year and I am excited for new experiences and hopefully new people that I will meet along the way.

Here are a few pictures from this year!

50 Shades of Grey

After a year of owning the book 50 Shades of Grey I finally finished it. When reading this book it came to my mind, why in the world would they turn this into a movie? How will they do it? I slightly fell in love with Christian Grey, he really knows how to pleasure a girl. I don't have much experience or rather any at all to do with sex or love. But its such a passionate book and imagining every scene can tickle a girls senses, not saying that I would want to be Ana.

But my thoughts to making the movie is, yes I can imagine Jamie Doran as Christian Grey but I'm not to sure about the actress they picked for Ana. Jamie Doran looks similar ro what I would picture Christian with his hair and eyes and body and he looks pretty good in suit and probablt without one. Also I'm excited yet nervous to see how they will make this into a movie, though it probably won't have the same effect as the book has as our minds go crazy when reading all the details. I doubt they will show it here in the Philippines they didn't show Springbreakers let alone 50 Shades. I'm still thinking about whether or not I would watch it, I would love to but with who?

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Intramuros

About a week ago me and my friends made a trip to Intramuros. We went there to volunteer for Red Cross. We had a project in one of our classes, Social Teachings of The Church. We had to do something or anything to raise money for the Yolanda victims. We spent three hours sorting out clothes and then packing them. We did two sets of clothes each for a mum, dad, daughter, son etc. Some worked in pairs others on their own. It was extremely hot and it drained the energy out of all of us. But it was a great experience to be able to help out even though it was tiring, I knew that I helped out all I could. But obviously still not enough. I didn't want to complain because I knew that there are more people suffering and going through worse than what I was experiencing.

Before this however we had 1 hour to spare and I wanted to see Intramuros. I've been there before but I just don't remember so I decided to look around.

The architecture really interested me and caught my attention. It looked as if you were in Spain, the influence was still there. The dorms were creepy at the same time I wanted to go inside. I could imagine how haunted all the dorms must be.

I also got to see where the old UST was, I wish it was still there. I also wanted to go inside Manila Cathedral but it was under construction. It looked so nice from the outside. This town must be haunted because of the history that runs through it. This made it more exciting. The town was amazing, I really enjoyed it.

I want to go back so that I can visit the Fort Santiago. It was even more fun with friends. I would definitely go back here. It's a place that has so much history and keeps it within its walls.

Letran 

Manila Cathedral 

Where UST was located 

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My first blog challenge

Done with my first ever blog challenge! It was so hard but slightly worth it. There were so many questions that really help me figure out stuff about myself that I never knew about. It was hard having to do it everyday because I really put a lot of thought into answering every question from the challenge. I hope my readers enjoy reading my blog challenge.

Days 27-30: The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge

27)   Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.

The number one thing that I love about myself would have to be my body shape! I love my curves and how whenever I wear a fitted dress it hugs my hips. I feel so sexy and so I always love showing off my shape, with fitted dresses or skater skirts. That's what makes me fall in love with myself every time. 

28)   Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.

I guess moving to the Philippines. I moved here at the age of 16 and I've been here for 2 years. It has been the biggest, bravest and best move I have ever made so far. 

29)   Who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc.

I don't think I can answer this because there is no one special that I've never met.

30)   Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say

Dear future guy,

I am so glad I get to meet you. I hope and wish that you will be the first and last man in my life. I have been dreaming about the day I get to experience my first kiss and hug someone more special to me than a friend. I want to wake up next to someone and be glad that I made the right choice. I know that everything comes in its right time and hopefully everything will just fall into place. I don't want to rush anything because I want it to be perfect. I will wait forever until we cross paths so that I know its worth it. I will enjoy my life as it is, being single and running wild and free with the freedom running through me. So hopefully you'll be around the corner and we can eventually see each other but for now I'll keep on walking. 

love from 

Dreamerllie

p.s. I'll wait forever 

#TheSW30