Never Been Kissed

Yup that's me. I am actually proud of myself that I haven't had my first kiss, though I always imagine when and who I will have it with. Not everyone reaches this far.  Many regret their first kiss others enjoyed it, I'm thankful I'm in neither category.

The other day I watched the movie Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore and I realized how much I could relate to it. I thought to myself why isn't this my favourite movie? Just like her where she was not part of the popular crowd I wasn't either; I was invisible instead. Where everyone knew Josie's name, no one knew mine. Even if they were in my class they would forget that I was there too. No one knew me or if they did they tagged me as "The Shy One" or "The Quiet One." I didn't enjoy High School, I did have friends sadly I felt like I didn't fit in perfectly. However I did have their support and they were always there for me! I remember there were times where I would walk around campus on my own because I didn't have anyone to go to. I did feel like a loner a lot. I remember one time I cried so much I locked myself in the bathroom because I felt like I had nothing and I was so alone. High School wasn't my favourite years of my life. It was painful for me.

There is nothing I would change because I am so happy with my life right now. If I changed anything in the past I would lose something in the present and I don't want that. High School made me stronger, it made me realize and learn many things. If I wasn't shy, I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have tried to find myself in the Philippines. I wouldn't have toughened up and gained confidence, I feel like I needed to be shy to become who I am today. I know I have a long way to go, that's the thing, I have a long way to go why should I go back and change anything.

I feel Josie, because we all want to have that kind of popularity and we want to be noticed. Everything we go through in high school can shape, teach and make us who we are for the future. It gives us the standards to what we should be in college. We choose to be someone different than that person we were back in High School. We find ourselves as we go through our lives. I am doing this day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year. Working on myself and becoming who I want to be.