Symphony Salad |
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
Monday, 23 March 2015
First Few Months
So its been the third month of the year and I am already tired of all the drama that has been thrown at me. It's not even half way through the year but I have learned so much. I have somehow managed to survive these few months.
I've lost friends , lost trust and lost hope. All of these has taught me something new, sadly learning them the hard way. I realized who my real friends are and I finally proved that it is not about the quantity but the quality of a friendship. I eventually opened my eyes to the fact that it really isn't about having loads of friends. It is best to just have a few friends and focus on them, building a stronger relationship with them.
All of this showed me that I should be more cautious with who I tell things to; not everyone needs to know you story because sometimes they're just there for the gossip.
I never thought I would lose trust in people, I've lost the trust in people and it really is hard to go back. It is hard to gain someone's trust. After my trust was broken by a lot of people I have now started to build a wall. I've finally built a wall so that not everyone can get through. I want to protect myself and make sure the same thing doesn't happen twice. I want to make sure I won't go back t the things that have hurt me. Once the damage is done, there's no going back.
Then there's hope, I hung onto a rope hoping one day I would reach the top. However, someone let go of that rope. I tried so hard to climb up the rope and even though my hands were giving up I hung on. Now I know that's not how it should have been. If someone wanted me to reach the top the would have pulled me up up and saved me. They would have never allowed me to hang onto a rope in the first place.
From this I've learned that if someone wants you in their life they will allow you without even asking. You will always have space for that special someone but sometimes you have to accept the fact that you're not not the one for them and they're not the one for you. That's okay, that's how we learn. We get pushed down and our eyes are opened to reality. It's not all about rainbows and butterflies, it's about how you survive through the rain, thunder, storm and lightning that attack you all at once.
I am proud of myself, sometimes I don't even know how I get through all of this. There were times I just wanted to hide and disappear but after realizing that I got this far, I stood back up again. I am done crying and moping around, I won't allow anyone to bring me down especially if it's not worth my time.
Everyone's time is precious no matter who you are so I guess it's best to spend it wisely. Hang out with friends and family, do what you want and keep on thinking positive even if you're looking into a black hole. It might not get you anywhere but it will keep you going.
Hope is like strings holding you up like a puppet, even if you didn't want to stand up, you're forced to stand up anyway. Give yourself no choice but to keep on going.
I've lost friends , lost trust and lost hope. All of these has taught me something new, sadly learning them the hard way. I realized who my real friends are and I finally proved that it is not about the quantity but the quality of a friendship. I eventually opened my eyes to the fact that it really isn't about having loads of friends. It is best to just have a few friends and focus on them, building a stronger relationship with them.
All of this showed me that I should be more cautious with who I tell things to; not everyone needs to know you story because sometimes they're just there for the gossip.
I never thought I would lose trust in people, I've lost the trust in people and it really is hard to go back. It is hard to gain someone's trust. After my trust was broken by a lot of people I have now started to build a wall. I've finally built a wall so that not everyone can get through. I want to protect myself and make sure the same thing doesn't happen twice. I want to make sure I won't go back t the things that have hurt me. Once the damage is done, there's no going back.
Then there's hope, I hung onto a rope hoping one day I would reach the top. However, someone let go of that rope. I tried so hard to climb up the rope and even though my hands were giving up I hung on. Now I know that's not how it should have been. If someone wanted me to reach the top the would have pulled me up up and saved me. They would have never allowed me to hang onto a rope in the first place.
From this I've learned that if someone wants you in their life they will allow you without even asking. You will always have space for that special someone but sometimes you have to accept the fact that you're not not the one for them and they're not the one for you. That's okay, that's how we learn. We get pushed down and our eyes are opened to reality. It's not all about rainbows and butterflies, it's about how you survive through the rain, thunder, storm and lightning that attack you all at once.
I am proud of myself, sometimes I don't even know how I get through all of this. There were times I just wanted to hide and disappear but after realizing that I got this far, I stood back up again. I am done crying and moping around, I won't allow anyone to bring me down especially if it's not worth my time.
Everyone's time is precious no matter who you are so I guess it's best to spend it wisely. Hang out with friends and family, do what you want and keep on thinking positive even if you're looking into a black hole. It might not get you anywhere but it will keep you going.
Hope is like strings holding you up like a puppet, even if you didn't want to stand up, you're forced to stand up anyway. Give yourself no choice but to keep on going.
Something Perfect
I dream of something perfect
Something so surreal it will make me wonder
What did I do to deserve this
Everyone gets what they deserve
It's never and if but when
When it happens you know its worth it
When you get there you'll now it happened for a reason
Until now I still believe and will always believe
Everything happens for a reason
It might be the wrong time or the right time
But we all know it doesn't just come out of nowhere
We know that it was meant to be
Monday, 9 March 2015
What Now?
I don't understand why I always seem to put myself in sticky situations. I always pray to be stronger but I am always thrown with drama leaving me in a huge state. Sometimes I don't even know how I get through it. Sometimes I need a break from my own life, but sadly its not possible. I'm left trying to pick myself up. I'm left wondering who is there for me? I'm left questioning if people understand, if they can actually make things better. I feel like I'm just crawling and I don't have a choice. I've come to a point where I'm tired. I know I haven't been through a lot but none of this expected, I want to avoid it all and I need that rainbow in my life right now.
I don't even know I mange to cope up with everything. I look back and feel so proud of myself because I definitely feel stronger. It's such a drag though, all these new things I'm learning and experiencing have downsides. All of it hasn't be easy, all of it has once dragged me done and somehow I'm still here. I don't want to run away but I feel like I'm just running into the fire naked.
#life #blog #me
I don't even know I mange to cope up with everything. I look back and feel so proud of myself because I definitely feel stronger. It's such a drag though, all these new things I'm learning and experiencing have downsides. All of it hasn't be easy, all of it has once dragged me done and somehow I'm still here. I don't want to run away but I feel like I'm just running into the fire naked.
#life #blog #me
Saturday, 14 February 2015
What happens if your only support system breaks?
Growing up in a broken family can
be more than what we expect. It can cause extreme amounts of pain and confusion.
You wonder what it will be like if you were to be in that situation, you wonder
why your parents separate and you wonder if they will ever get back together
again. All these questions you grow up trying to find the answers, but when you
realize it usually it’s too late and you will always have a broken family,
whether you like it or not.
Despite all of this you have to
let it go, you have to continue with your life. No matter the pain, the images and
the emotions that get out of control, there is no choice but to put it at the
back of your mind and continue with your life. But yes it is hard every student
going through this has their own coping mechanisms. Some choose to rebel, some
become introverts and some just pretend like nothing ever happened.
So what is it like to go through
this? What is it like to wake up with your parents arguing and fighting? How
does it feel to come home to one less parent?
You sit in class while the
professor does his job explaining in detail the lesson, suddenly you are called
out and all that flashes through your mind is the thoughts and images of your parents
and everything comes crashing down. Family is what holds us together it is what
we have left at the end of the day. No matter what family is what holds our
back at the end of the day and there is nothing stronger than our blood bonded
to each other. But having parents separates just tears down the walls of our
hope to love.
All of this is a distraction not
only will the student not understand what is going on but in general they will
find it hard to study and to do any type of work when it comes to school because
their minds will be distracted. They will constantly have family problems in
their mind and will find it hard to cope with school.
Its times when we see families
sitting together laughing and bonding while you have a part missing from you
that you eventually realize you will never get back. Family holds us together
but when it’s gone, we have nothing else to hold onto but ourselves, we have to
piece everything together and focus on what’s important, and that’s the sad
truth.
Students have to know their
priorities and no matter what happens in their lives have to leave it all
behind or maybe even bury it just so that they can focus on their future. Many
students lose their direction and paths in life because they don’t have that
guidance, they don’t have that support from their parent and even if they live
with one parent, one parent cannot do two jobs perfectly.
A job of a father is different to
a mother, for me it is necessary to have both parents there for their children
guiding and helping them. Based from experience without the time of both their
parents they seek elsewhere for guidance and become more curious, without
proper guidance they tend to go the wrong way in life. They seek to figure
things out on their own.
For example students will try things
and experiment such as alcohol, drugs and sex and will keep on doing it, until
it is all too late. Your parents hold you and show the way but without this
they turn out to be different to other students, where their family background
gets in the way of their studies.
This can be one of the biggest
distractions that a student faces, not only does it get in the way of their
studies but it can also effect and change the way they see things and act such
as when it comes to being in a relationship of their own or socializing with
people. They will lose hope in falling in love and will not value being in a
relationship as much as others. Socializing with others can be another issue it
can affect them the most when their parents break up at an early age when their
minds are still developing and they still do not understand what is going on.
They become confused and see a horrible side to being in a relationship.
#family #love #essay #opinion
Thursday, 22 January 2015
Philippines: Lessons Learned
Its been three years and I've finally learned how to commute, I've finally taken the jeep, tricycle and FX all on my own. I am so proud of myself at the same time I can finally go out whenever and wherever I want. Next up I have to try taking a bus, LRT and MRT.
Trying new things and going to new places really makes me fall even more in love with the Philippines. I love the feeling of doing something out of my comfort zone, it makes me learn more about myself. Trying new things makes me realize I am actually capable of doing more things than I think I can, just like the quote "you're stronger than you think you are." I think this definitely applies to me.
I feel like my life is so much better here, I have become so comfortable and I have an attachment now to the Philippines where I can't let go. I can't let go of all the memories I've made, of all the experiences I've had and the things that I have done.
I have learned so much I don't think I could ever leave. Everything I learned here in the Philippines has changed my outlook on life, it has opened my mind and made me realize so many things. I don't think this is a stepping stone, I can't describe what the Philippines has done to me, but I can definitely say that it's given my whole life shock and woken me up to all the possibilities in my life.
Not only has the Philippines taught me so much so has people, I have been deeply influenced by the people, I have lost friends, gained the most amazing friends and met so many different characters who each play a different role in my life. As I've told my friend before, I have learned how to keep and let go of friends, I know how to appreciate and treasure friends. My friends here in the Philippines have really helped me with everything that I've been through and am still going through. Some still teaching me, some are just there by my side the whole time and until now.
I guess all I can say is that everything may not to be perfect and yes I have a few scars and regrets but I chose to keep on going and looking at the brighter side of life. I refuse to let anything bring me down or even hurt me again. I have learned to be careful and to slow down, to think first and make sure what I'm doing is hopefully the right thing. Though I am still taking risks, I want to make sure I am enjoying and getting the thrill that I seek in life.
#life #risks #20s #philippines
Trying new things and going to new places really makes me fall even more in love with the Philippines. I love the feeling of doing something out of my comfort zone, it makes me learn more about myself. Trying new things makes me realize I am actually capable of doing more things than I think I can, just like the quote "you're stronger than you think you are." I think this definitely applies to me.
I feel like my life is so much better here, I have become so comfortable and I have an attachment now to the Philippines where I can't let go. I can't let go of all the memories I've made, of all the experiences I've had and the things that I have done.
I have learned so much I don't think I could ever leave. Everything I learned here in the Philippines has changed my outlook on life, it has opened my mind and made me realize so many things. I don't think this is a stepping stone, I can't describe what the Philippines has done to me, but I can definitely say that it's given my whole life shock and woken me up to all the possibilities in my life.
Not only has the Philippines taught me so much so has people, I have been deeply influenced by the people, I have lost friends, gained the most amazing friends and met so many different characters who each play a different role in my life. As I've told my friend before, I have learned how to keep and let go of friends, I know how to appreciate and treasure friends. My friends here in the Philippines have really helped me with everything that I've been through and am still going through. Some still teaching me, some are just there by my side the whole time and until now.
I guess all I can say is that everything may not to be perfect and yes I have a few scars and regrets but I chose to keep on going and looking at the brighter side of life. I refuse to let anything bring me down or even hurt me again. I have learned to be careful and to slow down, to think first and make sure what I'm doing is hopefully the right thing. Though I am still taking risks, I want to make sure I am enjoying and getting the thrill that I seek in life.
#life #risks #20s #philippines
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